


safe and sound

by luvjinnie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, based on felixs elimination, everyone except for like the first four are mentioned, had to project on my precious bby, im SORRY to bring it back, kinda chanlix ig but not rlly, lapslock, pls enjoy(?), sad hours u kno, tbh isnt it a happy one tho bc we all know how the story ends hehe, this is p painful sowwy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 02:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19416268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvjinnie/pseuds/luvjinnie
Summary: “i’m really sorry but....this time you won’t be able to continue with the team....”





	safe and sound

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this while listening to new empire's "a little braver" (lix's fav song!) and taylor swift's "safe and sound" so if u wanna get the feelz i did,, feel free to listen to them too

jyp stared straight into felix's eyes, gaze unwavering, and he had no choice but to stare back, face devoid of any emotion. despite the fear racing through his veins, he knew better than to show it.

the longer the man talked, the more nervous felix got, especially considering that hyunjin had not so much as been mentioned.

“i’m really sorry but....this time you won’t be able to continue with the team....” 

felix stopped listening from there, the words bouncing around his head, echoing like a torturous melody.

he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, everything felt far away. the tears that swam behind his eyes spilled over as all of his resolve crumbled into dust.

his hands, clenched together and damp with perspiration separated, lifted up to cover his face. 

finally, reality had hit him, no, it slammed into him, and left him reeling in its wake. he barely had enough strength in his legs to keep standing when he felt arms wrap around him.

there was no point in trying to identifying who it was, felix’s brain automatically registered that it was jisung’s sobs soaking his shoulder, a saddeningly familiar weight.

the other boy was mumbling incoherently into his ear, his frantic monologue punctuated by harsh intakes of breath and sniffles. all around him, the air was thick with melancholy, the sounds of whimpers and weeping filling the room.

jyp had since left the room, and the staff were deadly silent, letting the moment be what it was, soaked in sadness.

for a moment, felix allowed himself to think of minho, who had gone through this exact thing, and had not taken more than a moment to feel sorry for himself.

unselfish as always, he had reassured everyone, urged them not to cry, though the shine of tears that would not fall in their vicinity betrayed his words.

felix thought of himself back then, how his face crumpled almost immediately upon the news. he knew he wasn't as strong as minho, but he dared to think that he was somewhat empathetic.

for a second, he let himself consider how the others felt, only letting his eyes drift around the room, too reluctant to even turn his head while in jisung's embrace.

seungmin was crying hard, the hardest felix had seen in a long time, and he, jeongin, woojin, and hyunjin were all stationary in the very spots that they were originally in, frozen in shock.

hyunjin had always been such a soft and caring person, and felix's heart squeezed at the prospect of how the taller would most likely wish it had been him instead. 

it was then and there, wrapped in jisung's arms, that he felt the pain of someone who had suffered not one, but two losses now. 

jisung let go of him a few moments later, supposing felix was feeling suffocated, and the blond immediately stumbled to the person that had been in his mind since the beginning. from the moment he was chosen as a candidate for elimination, his mind had flashed to changbin.

the man, no, boy, had always been sturdy but soft, voice harsh but intentions loving. felix's heart broke even more than he thought possible at the site of his own anchor throughout the struggles crouched on the floor, bawling his eyes out.

he hated seeing people he depended on to be strong in such vulnerable states, especially if it was because of his own actions.

there was nothing he could do but bend down to be level with changbin, wrap his arms around him, and attempt to fix what he had broken. the black-haired man was a blubbering mess, spouting regrets and sharp words, his raspy voice reduced to a heart-wrenching hoarse whisper.

felix let reassurances pour from his heart, no it wasn’t changbin’s fault, no he wasn’t bad or wrong, they both had worked hard. and yet, neither of them could believe those statements. wrapped in each other, they fell apart.

time seemed to slow down in those moments, and it felt like an eternity when he finally made eye contact with chan, who beckoned him to the other side of the practice room.

he disentangled himself from changbin’s hold, trudging over to stand in front of chan, leaning against the mirror lest his legs buckle.

if there was anyone he was hesitant to face, it was their leader. he knew chan had always seen a part of himself in felix, and made a point to instill all of his knowledge and wisdom onto the younger.

the moment their eyes met, felix shuddered at how intense the emotions swimming in chan’s eyes were.

regret, grief, and angst swirled within them, rather than how they normally appeared, clear and bright like a summer’s day. neither of them said anything for a long moment, just letting the tears roll down.

then, chan’s voice suddenly broke through the buzz inside of felix’s head, broken and small. the younger boy couldn’t do anything but hang his head, not able to face the eyes that had been darkened because of him.

arms, sinewy and strong wrapped around him, and for a second, felix was home.

he could hear the whistle of the wind back in australia fill his ears, and feel the blazing sun that reflected off of his tan skin as his friends slapped him on the back in greeting. it had just occurred to him that he was so far away from that, from security and contentment.

he suddenly regretted not appreciating those times more, rued ever letting foolish dreams steal him away from a life of comfort and happiness that once seemed to stretch on like a highway.

the pain in his chest seemed to increase tenfold, and there was nothing he could do but accept that whatever little piece of home he had created with his new family was meant to be left in the past as well.

even chan’s promise to always be there went in one ear and out the other. he knew better than to believe always actually existed.

and yet, a small sliver of hope, buried deep within the unpleasant feelings that currently ran rampant throughout him, seemed to bloom. a whisper that no matter how far he strayed from his members, he would be fine.

like a blossom sprouting from the ground, stretching to meet the sun despite being bathed in darkness, he felt warmth spread throughout him.

though the future seemed unclear, and felix had just confronted one of his worst nightmares, he always held in his heart that the worse can always get better. 

for now, he would nuzzle back into chan’s firm grasp, let the rest of the members wrap around them, and feel safe and sound for as long as he could.

**Author's Note:**

> so uh. that was a doozy ,, sorry for any errors, the extent of editing is my muddled 3 am brain ... but!!! im so glad that felix and minho were added back and that skz is a now a successful and amazing group thats taking on the world as nine!! now go forth and stream side effects (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


End file.
